“Can you please carry me?” These words are spoken to us on a daily basis, multiple times per day. Most days this means Reiss is tired, too out of breath to walk, or on the brink of puking due to breathing issues.
But today when she muttered these words and raised her hands over her head in my direction, and it hit me different. My heart started to hurt.
She is growing so fast, learning so much. As parents, we fight between wanting her to be more independent and helping her learn. This becomes an even harder fight with a child with special needs. How far is too far? Does she really need my help, or is she being stubborn? Am I babying her too much?
When it comes to her breathing, I err on the side of caution. So, when she asked me today, “Can you carry me, mommy?” I replied, “Yes, baby.” Then I gently put my hands under arms, plopped her on my hip, and carried her the rest of the way.
In a week, we won’t be able to do this. She will have a fresh scar on her chest over the one she got when she was 1o months old, and will be unable to pick her up from underneath
her arms for 4-6 weeks. The doctors will cut open her previous wound, separate bone, cut wires, and reposition her flesh – A new wound to create a new life.
I anticipate hearing her words more often in the next six weeks – “Carry me, please.” And we will. We always will.
We will carry her through it all. We will carry her through the 10.5 hour car ride to Houston tomorrow, the anxiety with giving blood and x-rays on Tuesday, fear when the nurse tries to find a vein on Wednesday, and the post-surgery pain later that day. We will carry her through the first 48 hours, through finding a balance with pain medication, through fighting sedation.
I expect her to be lucid quickly within the first 24 hours post-op. She will voice her fears and hurt. She will ask questions and ask why this is happening. But we know she is strong and resilient. We will carry her through it.
Thank you to our support system – those who have carried us through this journey thus far. Our family has done amazing things – sacrificing daily to make sure Reiss stays sickness free and is well cared for. Our friends – for understanding when we are distant and unable to make it to events because of Reiss’ special needs.
Thank you to those who have sent money and gifts. A kind friend made a Go Fund Me page for Reiss’ surgery. 1) Thank you, Jennifer for putting this together. It was most definitely not anticipated and complete appreciated. 2) If you would like to donate to Reiss’ medical fund, please do so through this link.